When I first thought of starting a magazine, I was like "Yeah!" I began researching and so on and then I thought, "Wait- how do I get paid off of this?" Then I considered the idea of selling the magazine and having viewers pay to view it, but I decided against that. Then I remembered I was once a marketing major and I could sell advertisement space, so I had a plan. Yet I know that in order to seek buyers, my magazine must boast quality and display stamina, and I have been working hard to build up our credibility. Now when I meet people and mention that I own a magazine, one of their following responses is something like, "Well you must be getting paid then!" My response is always no, but it is like they do not understand. "Why do you do it then?" "How do you make your money?"
I find it kind of funny, because I believe I have created the best job in the world for myself. Yes work is required, but I almost feel like I am cheating with my reward. I love what I do! I am happy! I get to meet new people, and everyone is always so friendly and welcoming! I get to attend nice events and be treated like a "somebody," and I am on the other end of the camera!
My mind often goes to the Trident commercial when they ask to pay the babysitter in gum. To us as viewers, we are looking at that like,"what?" It's funny! Yet who knows, maybe the young lady is in a smiling contest or something. You never know what is going on in people's lives, which is my whole point exactly.
I have been working extremely hard to become the woman I feel I am destined to be. When I was a teenager until I was about 23, I would make lists of the characteristics I wanted instilled in myself, things I needed to work on. People do not understand that mostly everything I learned about being a woman came from Omar Tyree's Fly Girl, Maya Angelou's autobiography series, Eric Jerome Dickey, and E. Lynn Harris. I did not sit and actually talk with anyone or interact and aquire learned behavior. Of course, I had friends and family, but I always felt there was something more, something outside of my usual enviroment. I wanted to know how the professional, independent women lived. I had began to live through the women in these books, but I needed more. What was normal to them? I needed to know if they ever experienced the same things I felt? Do these powerful women ever get their heartbroken? Are they faithful wives and loving mothers? I wanted the real scoop. I needed to know if I was normal.
When I talk with the women featured in my magazine. I learn the answers to these questions. I like to get in people's heads because most people say I do not think like them. I want to know if that is true. So far from what I am seeing, it is half and half. I am amazed at the things I sometimes have in common with guests. You know we tend to be more attracted to those who share the same qualities as us, as opposed to those who are not like us, so I fall easily, because I am always intrigued.
These women tell me their stories and talk to me, and I learn so much more than a book could ever show. I will learn more than I will probably live in my lifetime, and that is where the cheating comes in. Ladies, can you imagine how much further along we would be if we sat and opened up with each other? Instead of watching your sister sit and make the same stupid mistakes that you did, only now we are living in different times so the consequences might be twice as hard, what if you sat down and told her your story? Of course, in the end she will do what she wants, but sometimes the fact that there is experience behind the voice will make you think twice.
Since I moved to Louisiana, there is so much I have learned about women and being a woman in general, and I am still learning. I am beginning to understand what is acceptable and what is not. Men see a pretty package and think, " Oh, she got her stuff together" only to later realize they have only gotten themselve a big kids meal supersized, so they are not totally at fault when you find out they added someone else to the team to fill in for your shortcomings. Now imagine what it would be like to be truly ahead of the game. Imagine that you do not have to take the fall because someone has already did it for you. In the Cubicles: A Novel by Camika Spencer, the main character, Faulkner, is in the middle of a 30 ( I believe that is the amount, been a while) year feud between two coworkers/ best friends, and she does not know. The woman she dislikes the most holds insights that could prevent Faulkner from experiencing things to come, but... I will let you read the book. Anyway, the twists always had me thinking, and I do not like "what if's."
When I do a recording, I am taking in every word on camera and off. The things on camera are saved and published, but the things off camera are saved and practiced. I have some ways to go getting SwagHer off the ground, but I am storing all this knowledge so in time I will produce something not only unforgettable but also unbreakable, and not just SwagHer Magazine, but also ME. I feel like I am storing up power to release a storm. I see the progress in myself. I can mark off some of those characteristics on my list now.
If you are not understanding all of this right now, in time you will see. My mission is to empower women, to educate and enlighten, but we shall venture on this journey together. That is why I keep this blog, because I am living my life publicly. When I am soaring ,you can see it, and you can see it when I am falling. I am the biggest advocate for keeping it real. Now yes, I do want to get paid, because I am true Libra to the fullest, loving beautiful people and beautiful things, and Trident cannot pay for all I am desiring. I know that it is coming, so for now I am living off the intangible.
-Fancy, 24 hrs from Greatness
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Mother Hen: Karlyn LeBlanc
The other day I interviewed published author, licensed social worker, and entrepreneur, Karlyn Leblanc. I always enjoy talking with Karlyn, because I think she is the true definition of a gogetta. She seems to always know someone, who knows someone, she is the best at multi tasking, and she always finishes what she starts. There is a great deal to be learned from Karlyn, but the thing I think I admire the most is her bluntness.
Karlyn will say whatever is on her mind and go on about her business. When I walked into her store that day, she was dressed in a big t- shirt and tights. She told me she had been working out. I remembered seeing a gym around the corner so I was trying to ask if she works out there, but at the same time, she was saying, "You want to go work out (while looking me up and down)? You have put on some extra pounds." Had this been my first time meeting Karlyn I would have been offended but I have grown used to it, because I know her advice is for a reason, so I just told her I cannot afford a gym at that time. Before I left that day, she again asked, " Do you want to work out (looked me up and down)? You going to lose your shape." She went on to say, that the spotlight will be on me a little more, so I should definately pay more attention to my appearance. Upon being asked the second time, most women would have been appalled, but I was not. I know that have been under more stress than usual, and I really have put on extra weight, but sometimes it takes someone else to remind us of what we need to do and also to show us how others view us. Karlyn talking to me about my weight made me realize I need to get on it. When I am truly successful, I want to also be fit.
I remember once at a premiere party for The Romance Cafe, everyone was required to buy a pair of crotchless panties. One of the women was trying to tell Karlyn she was not going to buy them. Karlyn let her finish what she had to say and then told her, "Everyone buys a pair a crotchless panties," and then went on about her way. That was the funniest thing to me. I would have listened to the woman's excuse, and then made an exception only to later have to make even more exceptions and suffer a serious loss at the end of the night.
Some people might be offended by her bluntness, and I was once one of them, but I have grown to see that is just Karlyn. She may hurt your feelings sometimes, but it is for the best. I am very grateful for Karlyn. It was she who lit in my behind so bad that it inspired me to throw myself into my magazine. It was a hot July afternoon, and we were having a heated discussion about some things. I was complaining about my life and other matters while trying to explain why I was planning to wait to pursue my dream of publishing a magazine. Karlyn was like, "Stop talking about it, just do it." I had a ton of excuses why I was not ready just yet. One of those reasons, was my fear of trying to deal with women and what their response to my magazine would be like. I do not like failure, so I tend to avoid it if possible. I do not know why but there are two things that stand out to me from that conversation, and they are as follows: people threw Jay- Z's flyers on the ground in his face, and she (Karlyn) just wanted a store on Highland Road. I am still trying to understand how that motivated her, but she now owns Smarty Pants Village, an educational toy store, and it is on Highland. Sometimes when I am discouraged I think about her saying, "I wanted a store on Highland, and everybody thought I was crazy. Now I have a store on Highland, and they wonder how I got it. People are going to talk regardless."
I think the fact that she already realizes this, is why she is able to be so straightforward. Yet though Karlyn will cut you down to size and she will then give you helpful advice to help better yourself. Now in the mist of this, she is going to tell you what all she likes, as well as all that she does not like. For these reasons, I have dubbed her as Mother Hen, because she will fuss over you.
Before I actually began recording that day, Karlyn and I talked about some of the struggles of being an entrepreneur. One of those being, that our love ones do not always understand our vision, which is something I can seriously relate to, because my mother only see dollar signs as success. If I am not getting them, why am I wasting my time. Karlyn's advice was to keep my distance, because the negativity can be destructive.
After the interview we talked some more. Since starting my magazine, I have began to see more and more people talking about starting a magazine of their own or talking about empowerment. It might seem childish, but I had began to feel kind of betrayed like someone had stolen from me, and though I feel that I can produce a good product, I do not have all the proper resources. I have to improvise a great bit to keep everything together, so of course I am a little afraid when someone tells me they are about to step into my market, and I know they have more cash. I kind of get that feeling I am sure Ice Cube had in "Barber Shop" when the other shop moved across the street. Karlyn's advice on this matter was to continue what I am doing but to not talk as much, especially to people who may seem to be stealing my creativity. She told me of personal experiences with close friends that were similar to this. To be honest, I also found comfort just in knowing that this was more common than I thought.
There is also some other advice from Karlyn I would like to share, because I found it to be valuable. I am just going to list them.
Karlyn will say whatever is on her mind and go on about her business. When I walked into her store that day, she was dressed in a big t- shirt and tights. She told me she had been working out. I remembered seeing a gym around the corner so I was trying to ask if she works out there, but at the same time, she was saying, "You want to go work out (while looking me up and down)? You have put on some extra pounds." Had this been my first time meeting Karlyn I would have been offended but I have grown used to it, because I know her advice is for a reason, so I just told her I cannot afford a gym at that time. Before I left that day, she again asked, " Do you want to work out (looked me up and down)? You going to lose your shape." She went on to say, that the spotlight will be on me a little more, so I should definately pay more attention to my appearance. Upon being asked the second time, most women would have been appalled, but I was not. I know that have been under more stress than usual, and I really have put on extra weight, but sometimes it takes someone else to remind us of what we need to do and also to show us how others view us. Karlyn talking to me about my weight made me realize I need to get on it. When I am truly successful, I want to also be fit.
I remember once at a premiere party for The Romance Cafe, everyone was required to buy a pair of crotchless panties. One of the women was trying to tell Karlyn she was not going to buy them. Karlyn let her finish what she had to say and then told her, "Everyone buys a pair a crotchless panties," and then went on about her way. That was the funniest thing to me. I would have listened to the woman's excuse, and then made an exception only to later have to make even more exceptions and suffer a serious loss at the end of the night.
Some people might be offended by her bluntness, and I was once one of them, but I have grown to see that is just Karlyn. She may hurt your feelings sometimes, but it is for the best. I am very grateful for Karlyn. It was she who lit in my behind so bad that it inspired me to throw myself into my magazine. It was a hot July afternoon, and we were having a heated discussion about some things. I was complaining about my life and other matters while trying to explain why I was planning to wait to pursue my dream of publishing a magazine. Karlyn was like, "Stop talking about it, just do it." I had a ton of excuses why I was not ready just yet. One of those reasons, was my fear of trying to deal with women and what their response to my magazine would be like. I do not like failure, so I tend to avoid it if possible. I do not know why but there are two things that stand out to me from that conversation, and they are as follows: people threw Jay- Z's flyers on the ground in his face, and she (Karlyn) just wanted a store on Highland Road. I am still trying to understand how that motivated her, but she now owns Smarty Pants Village, an educational toy store, and it is on Highland. Sometimes when I am discouraged I think about her saying, "I wanted a store on Highland, and everybody thought I was crazy. Now I have a store on Highland, and they wonder how I got it. People are going to talk regardless."
I think the fact that she already realizes this, is why she is able to be so straightforward. Yet though Karlyn will cut you down to size and she will then give you helpful advice to help better yourself. Now in the mist of this, she is going to tell you what all she likes, as well as all that she does not like. For these reasons, I have dubbed her as Mother Hen, because she will fuss over you.
Before I actually began recording that day, Karlyn and I talked about some of the struggles of being an entrepreneur. One of those being, that our love ones do not always understand our vision, which is something I can seriously relate to, because my mother only see dollar signs as success. If I am not getting them, why am I wasting my time. Karlyn's advice was to keep my distance, because the negativity can be destructive.
After the interview we talked some more. Since starting my magazine, I have began to see more and more people talking about starting a magazine of their own or talking about empowerment. It might seem childish, but I had began to feel kind of betrayed like someone had stolen from me, and though I feel that I can produce a good product, I do not have all the proper resources. I have to improvise a great bit to keep everything together, so of course I am a little afraid when someone tells me they are about to step into my market, and I know they have more cash. I kind of get that feeling I am sure Ice Cube had in "Barber Shop" when the other shop moved across the street. Karlyn's advice on this matter was to continue what I am doing but to not talk as much, especially to people who may seem to be stealing my creativity. She told me of personal experiences with close friends that were similar to this. To be honest, I also found comfort just in knowing that this was more common than I thought.
There is also some other advice from Karlyn I would like to share, because I found it to be valuable. I am just going to list them.
- "No one is more important than you. Never think anyone is more important to you." I am not sure but I believe Karlyn told me this because I am always trying to be so mindful of others that sometimes I cheat myself. It is quite funny because, Tasha Dangerfield told me the same thing later.
- "Think of people like gift wrapped boxes. They are packaged pretty, but you never know what may be going on with them. You do not know if that package got lost and had to be found, or if it was damaged and had to be rewrapped." I liked this quote a lot, and she actually told me this as I was interviewing Tasha for last month issue. This quote kind of goes hand in hand with the other quote. I do not think I am a easily intimidated person, but I am a very visual person. If I see someone dressed in designer clothes with a nice car, I automatically assume this person is better than me. Of course, after speaking with them my perception may change, and it normally does, but if I were looking at them like the gift wrapped boxes, I would be better prepared when I find out he or she is no bigger than me. Since she told me this in July, I have began to view people that way, and it has a helped.
- "You do not have tell people all your business. People want to think they already know everything about you, so let them. You do not have to tell them everything. Besides, with all the search tools today, you do not have to say anything. They can google you and find out everything, and that is when you have found out you have made a name for yourself. When you can google yourself and get six pages of information, and you are on the first page, that is when you have made a name for yourself. Have you googled yourself?" I think this quote is self explanatory.
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