Three Men and the Lil Gogetta

   Just when I started to think things were going great, another area in my life has began to stress me. Business with the magazine has been going good. We are getting more and more exposure. The writing team is growing and it is growing on it's own. I have only asked one of the writers about writing for SwagHer, and to me that is important because this way I know if they really would like to do it or  not, so things have been going good in that area.
   However just as I have made SwagHer my baby, ole Cupid has began to hang around.  I have not been in a serious relationship for three years, and during those three years I have changed a lot.  My attitude and how I view men has changed dramatically. Whereas I used to be stuck on looks and material things, I now barely even look at guys. I do not care what you are riding in, but what part of town you stay in? How long have you been on your job?
   Of course, still none of these things really matter because I am a dancer, and love is extremely hard to come by. I do not take men seriously anymore, because I do not want to be with someone and not be honest with them, so I always tell them what I do, sometimes early on and at other times later on, but that it always seems to take a toll on things, because people let their imagination get the best of them.  So relationships and love have been the least of my concern while out here grinding.
  Needless to say, it has found me, but not in the simple way it does everyone else. Somehow I have found myself engaged in the midst of my former fiance arriving home just as I meet the type of man who intrigues me. Yes, that is three men, and I do not know what to do.
   My current fiance is nice. He is Nigerian and attends grad school at Southern University with me. He is very peaceful person, and always tries to do what is right. However, he spends all of his time  studying and our cultural differences puts some limitations on our ability to communicate effectively.  I know he is ambitious and will be successful one day. I believes he thinks the same about me, but he does not understand the struggles of an entrepreneur. His goal is to get a good job, whereas mine is to create a job I will love within a business I have built from the ground up. He believes if you work hard you will get what you deserve, but I believe if you work hard, network properly, grind 24/7, and seize oppurtunities to their full advantages then you have a 80% chance. He sees being in America as the biggest prize itself but I beg to differ. I love America too, but I know America does not give a damn about me personally, therefore I expect nothing from it, but I do believe that maybe if I go above and beyond I may get a little something. Needless to say, I do not get the support from him that I need about my business venture. He cannot understand why I put all my money toward my business when I can be putting it toward more urgent matters.
   My former fiance is good looking, smart, and ambitious, but also a two time felon. His swag is off the chain. I mean he could probably walk in a room and start supplying people with swag. We can go to church together and later on hit the club together. We can talk about anything. I have told him almost all my secrets over the past few years, and he would still say he loves me. He always tell me, "Baby stop talking about it,  just do it." He has always supported me even after I broke off our engagement. I think he would be able a suitable mate for the type of life I want to have. I know he will work hard and his record does not bother me. Some people might think, "Well, Francheska you are about to be a professional. You have to watch who you associate with." However, I believe in being real. Everyone in my immediate family has been in the system, so should I not claim them?
   When  I began to question my present engagement, I decided that maybe I should consult with my former fiance first, but he is still in jail, so I planned to call his mother and contact him. I had planned to call the following day but forgot. Yet to my surprise, his mother called me the next day after and told me he was coming home.
   If you have been following my blogs, you know I believe in signs. I did not tell her at the time, I was engaged but tried to ask her what had he said about me. She really never gave me an answer, but for her to call me has thrown me for a loop, so I have been stressing trying to figure out what I should do. I have tried talking with confidants, including my mother. She really liked my previous fiancee and has never met the current one. I suppose her fondness for him is what caused her to visit his mother to try some match making herself, but she did not get too much more information either. However her visit was not so in vain because now it seems like I really want to be with him, but I was just getting to the point whereas I was almost about to eliminate him out of the equation because...
   I happened to meet  this guy while checking my messages on a social site. I thought his username was interesting, and we just began to chat from there. No I have not known him for a long period of time, but he seems to have potential. I enjoy talking with him and getting to know him. Unlike my previous fiance who was always the center of attention and my present fiance who barely pays attention, he just seems in between. I suppose it helps that I find him physically attractive as well.

  So now I am stressed trying to figure out what I should do. It is so funny to me that this should happen at a time when I had began to solely focus on my career. I think I am going to be very successful one day. The person beside me must look the part because they will be of equal importance.  I think the proper partner can make or break you. Being an entrepreneur is for a certain kind of person. Not everyone can be one and not everyone can be with one, because it does come with some financial stress and that can place a strain on the relationship. SwagHer is the very important thing to me, but like Drake says, "What's a star when the most important fan is missing?" I have been praying for a sign or something. A big part of me feels like they may begin to eliminate themselves but I have bad luck, and they might not.... *Fancy shrug* I guess we will just have to wait and see.